How VR Creates the Illusion of Presence While Maintaining Emotional Distance

VR Can Transport Us to the Other Side of the World in Less Than a Second

A journalist or writer might use virtual reality (VR) technology to be transported to a refugee camp and get a real feel of what it’s like there, or a man can put on a headset and travel to the serene shores of a lake where he used to go for walks with his late wife. VR has the capacity to make us feel nostalgia, empathy, and a wide palette of other emotions. While it creates the illusion of presence, it’s the most realistic experience of other people’s surroundings, short of being there physically.

With immersive audio, 360-degree visuals, and real-time responsiveness, VR allows individuals to feel as though they’re truly part of another space. These sensations are no longer science fiction—they’re part of everyday experiences in gaming, therapy, training, and even journalism. But the magic of this presence is also what makes its limitations more glaring.

Singledom Is Near a Historic Peak

The quest for profound emotional and spiritual experiences naturally extends to romantic relationships in a world where we keep hearing how connected everyone has become. Paradoxically, the share of singles in industrialized countries has been rising steadily over the last few decades. We can observe this phenomenon in the US, the UK, Japan, etc. Demographic shifts in Japan have resulted in the emergence of a “single culture,” which the Japanese call the ohitorisama movement. It’s hardly a surprise that interest in virtual reality dating is rising all over the world.

Singles accounted for 38% of the population in 2000, but by 2019, their share had reached 44%. The number dropped to 42% in 2023.

The rise of digital interactions, busy lifestyles, and shifting priorities are all contributing to the emergence of a society where people are more comfortable being alone—or at least appearing to be. VR dating apps and virtual companionship platforms are trying to fill this emotional vacuum.

At Least Every Third Person Is Lonely

According to recent reports, up to a third of the world’s population is lonely. The rate varies from country to country, with countries like Brazil showing the highest rates of loneliness (50%). People aged 16–24 report feeling lonelier than older people. Over 10% of people in this age bracket share that they feel lonely regularly or even daily. A 2024 Gallup poll on global loneliness showed that more than 20% of people worldwide had felt lonely for much of the previous day.

Even with endless digital touchpoints—from social media to video calls—the emotional undercurrent remains one of disconnection. Virtual reality has emerged as a possible solution to this epidemic, offering people a way to be “with” others without the need to physically gather. But while loneliness can be alleviated by perceived presence, the absence of real intimacy may still leave people feeling empty.

The Illusion of Genuine Engagement vs. Real Detachment

Virtual reality (VR) creates the illusion of presence. Immersive visuals, audio, and interactive elements make it feel like you’re really there. This sensory immersion tricks the brain into accepting the virtual space as “real,” allowing you to feel like you’re genuinely engaging with people, places, or situations. VR can recreate a virtual meeting, simulate a shared activity, and replicate practically any form of social connection. Romantic hopefuls relish the experience of being together, even when they are physically apart.

But this closeness has its boundaries. Even if avatars are laughing, making eye contact, or engaging in synchronized dance, there is always an invisible barrier. The warmth of a smile doesn’t fully translate. A gentle touch is only pixels. The mind might accept the presence, but the heart often knows better.

Why True Closeness Is Missing in VR

We speak of emotional distance when there are feelings of indifference or detachment from others. It occurs not only in romantic relationships but also in families, friendships, and workplaces. In the context of VR, people experience emotional distance due to physical separation and, in some cases, cultural barriers.

Despite the realism of the environment, some users can’t shake the feeling that the interaction is mediated and, what’s worse, fleeting. Emotional cues like touch, facial expressions, or body language are artificial when interacting through avatars, potentially making it hard to achieve true emotional closeness. This creates a paradox where users feel “there” but not truly connected—simultaneously engaged and cordoned off by the technology.

VR offers presence, but it does not offer the depth you might experience in the physical world. Whether you will is another matter.

Even when VR enables a beautifully rendered setting and real-time dialogue, something intangible is often missing. Emotional intelligence—how we read microexpressions, respond to body language, or feel someone’s vibe—is largely absent in virtual realms. The result? A generation possibly more engaged, but not necessarily more connected.

Conclusion: The Emotional Gap in a Virtual World

Virtual reality is no doubt a marvel—blurring boundaries between imagination and experience, transporting us to distant worlds, and bringing people together in remarkable ways. It can simulate closeness, trigger empathy, and even build temporary bonds. But when it comes to true emotional intimacy, something remains out of reach.

The illusion of presence is powerful, but illusions are, by definition, not reality. As we spend more time in digital spaces—especially in the metaverse or VR-based interactions—it’s essential to recognize their limits. Presence without proximity, connection without touch, and engagement without vulnerability can only go so far.

For meaningful relationships—romantic or otherwise—humans still crave authenticity. We need the nuances of body language, the imperfections of real dialogue, and the warmth of physical presence. VR may be a beautiful bridge, but it isn’t yet home.